Thursday, August 14, 2008

If I was Caligula.....I would build a bridge to Cancun

"In 39, Caligula performed a spectacular stunt by ordering a temporary floating bridge to be built using ships as pontoons, stretching for over two miles from the resort of Baiae to the neighboring port of Puteoli. It was said that the bridge was to rival that of Persian King Xerxes' crossing of the Hellespont. Caligula, a man who could not swim, then proceeded to ride his favorite horse, Incitatus, across, wearing the breastplate of Alexander the Great."

What do you mean I "could not swim"!? Let me explain something to you: They didn't have toilets in Ancient Rome. So pardon me if Caligula prefers not to swim in sewage.

Yeah, Baiae was a pretty good time back in 39, but right here in 2008, Caligula loves spring break in Cancun. Bring me libations in the belly-button of a hot coed!