If I was Caligula....I would bring back the codpiece

Don't get me wrong, Caligula would absolutely take credit for inventing the glorious thing called "jeans". Togas are so fucking gay, dude. Anybody can get up in there and in the Roman summers, Caligula's thighs chafe like a motherfucker.

Personally, Caligula would make jeans with a codpiece the imperial uniform. Codpieces are ridiculous for the common man, but the emperor must protect his loins, the seat of the Roman future. Plus, I've gotta protect my junk.