If I was Caligula....I would force Bruni to let me make his Ko reservation

I was talking to everyone's favorite political blogger about Momofuku Ko reservations today, and I mentioned that Frank Bruni has interns making his for him. How sad is it that I can't even have the career aspiration of Bruni's reservation bitch?

If I was Caligula, I would make Bruni let me make his Momofuku-ko reservations for him. Then I would feed him to lions and commission a nude, bronze statue of David Chang.